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Focus On Teen Strengths: Turn What You Love about Your Teen Into a Strong and Lasting Friendship

Focus On Teen Strengths:
Turn What You Love about Your Teen Into a Strong and Lasting Friendship
Oh, that Emma, thinks Mum. I can't believe her. She's only 15 and all she does is play video games. She used to be so active. Now she won't try out for sports or join a club at school... She won't even come to dinner. I practically have to yank her off the computer or she'll starve. I'm so frustrated. Emma makes me feel like a rotten mum.

It's hard to feel good about teens when they act up or shut down. Erratic behaviour is common in teenagers, but that doesn't make it any easier on parents. In fact, participants in my workshops often struggle to find admirable traits in their teens.

Despite this difficulty, knowing your teenager's strengths is worth the effort. Here are some reasons why:

* You feel great about being the parent of such a super teenager
* You understand your teen better and see things from their viewpoint
* They feel heard and valued and together you create a safe place for sharing
* Your teen's self esteem blooms when they feel accepted and loved
* You experience more positive feelings when you focus on their good sides
* You see in them what you like about yourself
* You form a common ground for communication throughout your family

Let's look at how you can identify your teen's strengths and help your child grow into an adult you admire.

There are loads of reasons to look past defiance and focus on strengths. Aside from building trust through clear communication--and enjoying a little peace and quiet around the house--strengths show personality.

That's right. Hidden under those layers of rebellion and indifference your teen is actively interpreting the world in their own enchanting way.

Remember being a teenager? Like most teens, you probably battled uncertainty. Maybe you shouted from the rooftops, or, like Emma, you found solace in a solitary obsession.

There's a reason for this. Teenagers are trying on new behaviour to see what fits. And the good news is that you can help just by accepting them. Point out your teenager's strengths and give them the courage they need as they encounter the world.

What's more, encouraging strengths builds trust. When you focus on strengths your teen will likely open up and share more with you.

Sadly, many parents miss this brief opportunity to see life from their children's point of view. Instead, they become embroiled in power struggles and watch their influence as parents slip away.

But that's not for you.

Find your child's strengths and focus on them. Teens are magnificent human beings eager for your acceptance and support. When you focus on their strengths and accept them as they are you'll see the wonder of the world through their bright and shining eyes.

And here's the most important reason to focus on your teenagers' strengths. When you notice what's going well in your teenager's life you can see what's going well in your own life. It's true. Soak in all the good things around you. Develop a sense of thankfulness and let it spread throughout your whole family.

Now, here are some action steps you can take to identify and nurture your teenager's strengths.

Step 1: Choose three strengths you admire in your teenager. Consider your child's strengths in mind, body, family, community, spirit, skills, and money. A good place to start is by finding in them what you admire in yourself.

Step 2: Once you've chosen three strengths, observe them in your child over the next four weeks. Don't force anything; just notice what comes up.

Step 3: Keep a diary to note positive changes in behaviour or communication. Remember, all you're doing is observing. No need to do anything other than notice.

Step 4: Reward yourself for staying focused on your teen's strengths. Treat yourself to small gifts and feel good as you strengthen your relationship.

Step 5: After a month, answer these questions:

* What have you gained?
* Are you closer to your child?
* Do you understand your teen better?
* Has this exercise helped you in unexpected ways?
* How can you bring what you've learned into other areas of your life?

Consider continuing your journal after you complete these steps. You might focus on other people's strengths and see how your relationships improve over time.

This exercise can turn strife into pleasure. It's amazing. When you take the time to find and focus on your teenager's strengths you save yourself years of misunderstanding and hardship. And, as you follow these simple steps, you build a lasting foundation of trust and understanding--not for your teen alone, but for your entire family.

About the Author

Bercedeh Stark is a psychologist, a personal coach, and seminar leader improving parent-teen communications. She teaches parents the skills needed to bring out their own strengths and communicate effectively with their teens. She also coaches expatriates to enhance their lives in new or unfamiliar surroundings. Find out more at parentingteenagers1/

chatterbox scrapbook Items For Viewing
License Plates Baby

Karen Foster's License Plates add the perfect finishing touch to your scrapbook layouts and other craft projects. License Plates are adhesive-backed and can be used to complement your travel photos. Plates each measure 2-9/16 "x1¼ ".

Price: 3.29

1971

Take a step back in time with Year Of Birth cards. Unique retro designs span six decades with fun and interesting facts about each year. Don't miss out on the fun - see what was happening when you were born!

One 7¾ "x4¾ " card with coordinating envelope. Inside of card contains facts related to the year, as well as the greeting, "You were the main event! Happy Birthday "

Check out our Timeless Moments Stickers and see for yourself what happened each year.

Price: 2.50

Iowa Mini Plate

Styled to look like a license plate, this metal accent measures 1¾ "x7/8 ". Adhesive backed.

Price: .99

Christmas Ornaments Glitter

One double-sided, heavy-weight, glitter-accented sheet. Collection coordinating sold color on reverse.

Price: 1.19

Purple/Blue Hearts

Beautiful Vellum Stickers!

Price: 1.29

Antique Brass Title du Jour Book Plates

Create your own titles or simply say it with style using these beautifully ornate bookplates. Package contains two self-adhesive 3 "x1 "x1/16 " bookplates.

Price: 2.99

Scarlet Pearl Glitter Sm

Ultra fine glitter. Jar contains .25 oz (7 grams).

Price: 2.69

In The Doghouse

Foil-accented stickers.

Price: 1.49

In A Stitch Orange Buttons

Self-adhesive, all stitched up, and ready to go! These cute as a button embellishments will add delight to all your creative projects. Simply peel and place!

Price: 2.99

Christmas Is... Multi Rain Dots

Package contains 88 self-adhesive, translucent pieces. Pieces measure approximately 1/8 ", 3/16 ", 5/16 ", and 7/16 " wide.

Price: 2.99

Celebrate Jubilate

One double-sided, heavy-weight sheet.

Price: .80

Celebrations Taglines

Journaling has never been easier! Simply fill in the blanks to record your personalized story.

Price: 3.49

Petite Roses

Three - 2 "x6½ " sheets

Price: 2.19

PW Wedding Cake

Two sheets per pack

Price: 2.49

Pear Tree

One double-sided and textured sheet

Price: .50

P-Funk

One double-sided, heavy-weight sheet. Pattern on one side, coordinating solid on the other side.

Price: .70

Flat Blossom Chipboard Book

Maya Road's Flat Blossom Chipboard Book is board style alterable album for all occasions. At 6 " tall and 6 " wide, this 10 page book is perfect for your next project. No need to ever sand a board book again!

Price: 2.44

Make A Wish

These detailed adhesive embellishments will add a new dimension to paper arts. Put them everywhere-scrapbook pages, greeting cards, invitations, party bags, and gift tags just to name a few. The possibilities are endless with these dimensional accents!

Price: 3.99

Festive Sparkle Brads

Twenty-four rhinestone-topped brads in three different sizes - ¼ ", 3/8 ", and ½ " wide.

Price: 3.99

Bookworks? Vibrant Letters & Grinds

146 stickers per pack.

Price: 1.99

Simplicity

One heavy-weight sheet.

Price: .70

Surprise Girlfriends Paisley / Dk Orange

One double-sided, heavy-weight sheet.

Price: .80

Christmas Stockings Silver SB Peel-Offs

Delicate outline stickers.

Price: 1.39

SO Party Bear

Three 2 "x6½ " sheets

Price: 2.19

Mouse Circle

One double-sided, heavy-weight sheet.

Price: .65

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